Let’s call her Mary for the purpose of this newsletter. Mary was invited as a guest to one of my full day workshops by a friend over two years ago. She had no money as she was on government assistance. However, Mary saw the value of continuing education and she wanted to attend another workshop that was offered by one of the speakers. Instead of money, Mary offered a piece of jewelry as payment.
Coincidently a week later, at a meeting that Anne Marie Evers, the Affirmations Doctor organized, I won an envelope of money, that I was to give away to someone in need before the next month’s meeting. I had no idea how much money was in that envelope and I had no idea who to give it to. The only thing I knew was that I would win it and sure enough I did. I also knew that the right person would show up that needed the money and sure enough she did.
Two weeks later, in a conversation with one of my dearest friends, Wanda told me about Mary offering the jewelry as payment at my workshop. This was the first time I heard about it and I knew that I had found my recipient for the envelope of money. We contacted Mary and invited her as my guest to the next workshop so we could meet and I could give her the money. In the meantime, one of my business mentors, hearing about this story, offered to match whatever was in the envelope, an amount I still didn’t know. Things were looking up for Mary!
Well we met, and as I hugged this beautiful woman, I felt a connection in that very moment that has never been lost.
Over two years later, Mary is an integral part of my life and I have learned so much from her. She was here yesterday as she came to clean my condo for me. She brought me a beautiful little ornamental Chinese teapot as she knows that I collect them. Mary never comes empty handed.
In August I had a ‘farewell to the cabin’ party and everybody brought food to the potluck. Mary’s finances were at an all time low. She had some unexpected health expenses that month and she didn’t even have money for September’s rent. So Mary spent hours picking blackberries in a nearby field and came with not just enough blackberries for the party, but also several containers full of blackberries for my freezer.
Although I have seen this woman suffer with tremendous body pain, struggle with financial issues like most of us will never see - (you try living on $510 per month for everything) - live with no kitchen and share her small one room apartment with a host of mold and mice, Mary always has a smile on her face. Her home is beautiful and inviting. She is always gracious, grateful and upbeat.
Yesterday, she was excited. She has now been approved by the government for disability and her income has gone up to $836 this month. You would think Mary just won the lottery! She feels like a millionaire. She bought all of her friends a little gift; hence my beautiful teapot, and treated herself to a full body massage. Now that’s living!
My gift to Mary is to make a pot of homemade soup, one of my specialties, and to help her with a business idea that she is evolving. But I think the greatest gift I give to Mary is that I see her as an amazing woman; I see her as perfect, whole and complete. I see her as an equal. When she brings me a gift, I accept it and love her for it. I don’t tell her that she shouldn’t have or ask how can she afford it? She’s told me that my response to her giving makes her feel good. It makes her feel wealthy.
Mary cleans my house like no one else ever has. She dusts every precious ornament with love and care. She scrubs the bathtub so that it shines. She pours her love into everything she does. Mary makes me laugh. Her very presence in my home is uplifting and empowering.
I have learned so much from Mary.
I have learned that it isn’t how much money you have in the bank that makes you rich. No matter who we are or what we are suffering from, I appreciate that we can still afford to smile and be nice. I have learned to be more generous when I didn’t believe I had the resources to give. I have learned first hand the joy of receiving graciously.
I have also learned that sometime it needs to be me that steps up to the plate to give a helping hand and share financially. I can’t always expect that someone else will do it. Sometimes I need to be that angel in someone’s life.
I’ve also realized that some people think that when they have money, they will be generous or happy, kind or joyful. What I’ve discovered is that nice people are nice and miserable people are miserable. Money has nothing to do with it. Now I’d rather be nice and wealthy, generous and rich but they don’t necessarily go hand in hand.
As an entrepreneur, I value even more the importance of seeing the good and focusing on the positive, rather than the negative. Even though it sometimes seem like I’m spinning my wheels, (we all know that feeling don’t we?) Mary’s example helps me remember to stay focused on the goal and keep putting one foot in front of the other, confident of the outcome.
I spent four years living in a third world country. Last year I spent eight weeks in South Africa witnessing some very squalid living conditions. I have seen a tremendous amount of suffering. I have also seen a tremendous amount of joy. I have been blessed to be invited to dinner in homes where the dirt floor was swept clean, where there was no running water, where an entire family slept in one room and the chickens and guinea pigs were raised for food in a section of the kitchen. I’ve had a pig in the same room as I visited with a family and had rats run up and down the walls while I tried to teach a young mother. Yes, there has at times been desperation, suffering and hardships. But like Mary, there has also been a huge amount of pride in that little home with the dirt floor, tremendous joy as a family unites at dinner over a simple plate of beans and rice, incredible satisfaction as a woman has hung out the family laundry after washing it all by hand and now sees it sparkle in the sunshine. If you have ever traveled outside of North America, you have probably witnessed this for yourself. It can be humbling coming from the living conditions that everyone reading this newsletter comes from and yet we still manage to find things to whine and complain about!
A time of year is coming when it is so easy to get stressed, uptight, and feel overwhelmed by all the gifts to buy, the company to entertain, the parties to attend, the money to spend.
Joanna Field says, “Perhaps if one really knew when one was happy we would know the things that were necessary for our life.”
I’m highly recommending a season of simplicity; of finding happiness in just being together as a family, going for a walk, playing a board game together, of having friends in for a potluck instead of doing it all yourself, of curling up by the fire with a good book and a hot chocolate for an afternoon.
I’ve learned a lot from Mary. I trust that you have too!
Have an amazing month of joy and peace,
With love and light,
Jan
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