Are You Suffering With Divine Discontent? 

“Get the forceps out!” Do a Caesarean. I can’t stand the pain any longer. For God’s sake, this has to pass!” Those were my words not long ago that I shouted, exhausted, worn out, and fit to be tied. No, I am not pregnant; no, I wasn’t going through a literal delivery, but I was in the throes of what I call Divine Discontent. Others call it the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’. In my 7 Keys CD, I describe Divine Discontent like a woman giving birth. Not that I have ever had any experience in this arena; but those who have, say that my description is apt.

Divine Discontent is when you feel a longing in your heart, a yearning in your soul, there’s almost a grieving feeling, a deep sadness that you just can’t put your finger on. It never leaves you – you wake up in the middle of the night with this sadness, it hits you as you wash your hair in the shower. Sometimes, you almost feel pissed off and angry. You can’t explain it – but it doesn’t go away. It’s what happens to us when we haven’t found our fullest “reason for being”.

Clarrissa Pinkola Estes, in ‘Women Who Run with the Wolves’ calls it “hambre del alma” – hunger of the soul. It’s strong, it’s powerful, it‘s our soul’s drive to find our passion. Being in that place of Divine Discontent is like being in the birth canal. That baby needs to be born – it has to be birthed. It’s not going back into the safety of the womb. It’s time to have a whole new experience – to live life fuller, to expand and to grow. Yes, the womb is safe but you cannot grow within those confines indefinitely. You need the space and the freedom to grow and mature.

Having been a “spiritual midwife” to many of my clients as they have gone through Divine Discontent and now being a resident expert in it myself, I know that many people are going through this process and don’t know how to first of all identify it, and secondly, how to handle it. You may just think that you are depressed or having a bad day, until that bad day turns into a bad week, bad month, bad year.

Divine Discontent is a natural process. It’s our way of clearly identifying our gifts, our purpose for being on the planet and for living up to our fullest potential. Now having been through it several times myself, I will tell you that although I know it intimately, I am always glad when it is over…for the time being. I have just survived the Dark Night of the Soul; I have just come through another rebirthing.

How do you know if you are in that place of Divine Discontent?

You are irritable.
You feel unfulfilled.
You have a longing and yearning to do more but you can’t put your finger on what that “more” is.
You feel sad.
You are restless, not able to really sink your teeth into any project.
You are angry at yourself for shrinking back, for not moving forward but you don’t know what to do next.

If that describes you, you may be in that place where greater things await you and you are being drawn to them. We also resist the rebirthing, especially if we have never been there before.

Nancy, one of my coaching clients today, phoned me last summer. She wanted to participate in my coaching program, but she was going to be away on holidays. “Besides,” she sighed, “I just don’t know what I want to do with my life. How can you coach me if I don’t even know what I want?” Does that sound familiar? Then she was concerned that she wouldn’t like what she found out about her purpose if we did work together.

Today after four months of coaching, Nancy is probably one of the most enthusiastic, charismatic, excited, passionate people I know. Anybody who talks to Nancy KNOWS that she has found her “reason for being”. The other day when her husband tried to dissuade her from following her dream over breakfast, she frankly told him where to get off and said, “Stop eating my sandwich!”

How do you handle your Divine Discontent? First of all, acknowledge that you are there and that it will pass. Eventually that baby will be born. Guaranteed. Secondly, be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to birth your greatness. This may mean going for walks alone in nature, meditating or prayer, having long, contemplative baths, just being quiet, or doing some writing in a journal.

Thirdly, you may need help. I did this time. I needed my own spiritual midwife. I phoned a friend, Monique Macdonald, of Discover Your Sacred Gifts, and talked to her. When she answered the phone, her first words to me were, “Do you ever stop? You are relentless Jan.” Yes, I am. The pain is huge, the longing and yearning is tearing up my heart, and my soul is aching. You bet I am relentless. It’s when I said the words I opened this newsletter with. As I started to cry at one point in the conversation, the awareness happened and Monique’s words were like magic. They were exactly what I needed to hear. They were precisely what I needed to birth the next level of my life. That night after many more tears, more writing, more praying and more meditation, the Divine Discontent was over. It’s been a long six weeks this time. I awoke in the morning, renewed, refreshed, reborn.

I watch my clients go through this process. People often come to me when they are in this place of Divine Discontent. I watch them dance the dance of avoidance, flirt with the possibilities, flinch at the responsibility and skirt the big issues. I hold the space for their potential, I press them into admittance, I let them squirm under the pressure and I believe in them more than they believe in themselves. And then it happens. And God, it is magnificent. It is more amazing than life itself, because it is the biggest picture of life. It is the unfolding of a whole new person, it is the realization of who they truly are, and it is better than any Christmas morning.

Are you in that birth canal of Divine Discontent? Intuitively, I suspect that many people are, as we move to a greater evolution on the planet. It’s absolutely necessary for us to move the vibration of this planet to a higher plane. Being out of integrity with your purpose puts you in that place of anger, guilt and fear. It’s time to move into your ‘Assignment’. It’s time to live the life you are here to live. Will you have all the answers? Trust me, you won’t even have all the questions! And that is the pure magic of it.

Have an awe-filled month.

With love and light,

Jan 

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