I sit eating a box of Smarties, while visiting with one of my dearest friends, Jnana. I look like I just won the lottery as I pop the Smarties, a gift from her, in my mouth. She knows they are my most favorite candies in the world.
My friend Monique and I go for a hike in the woods near her place and end up on a deserted beach overlooking the Pacific Ocean. We can barely believe how beautiful it is.
Four of us women talk on the phone for an hour every week about spirituality and abundance. It’s one of the highlights of my week.
These three soul-satisfying activities are truly the epitome of a simple life.
As I have pared down my working schedule over the last couple of months, I have to tell you - it has brought mixed blessings. On one hand, I am experiencing an angst that I feel on the days that I am ‘not working’. It literally wells up in my stomach and I feel the tightening in my chest. I fight the feeling that I am not doing something worthwhile as I read, study and write for my ministry website. ‘You’re not earning money’, my gremlin yacks at me as I read the Dalai Lama and make notes for an upcoming CD. ‘This is a waste of time. Who will want to listen to you anyways?’, the voice natters at me. I feel restless and guilty as I take the time to do what I really want to be doing.
We have a society that is so focused on doing, doing, doing. Being busy is a national pastime and playtime is fraught with guilt and anxiety that we aren’t doing enough. Now maybe you are one of those people that takes time off guilt-free - congratulations if you are. However, I have found that it is one thing to take the weekends off (which I do regularly), absolutely guilt-free; it is quite another thing to take a day mid-week and not be engaged in money making activities. That’s when the voices start in on me.
On the other hand, the blessing is that I have got to know myself so much better, and am learning to relax and enjoy life more. And through all of this, I have noticed a couple of things. What I enjoy the most in life doesn’t cost anything or costs very little. Eating a box of Smarties is a low cost pleasure. (For my American readers who don’t have Smarties, they are like M and M’s - only way better!) Going for a walk, having a meaningful conversation with friends, or sitting on my deck overlooking the forest, listening to the birds and reading a good book are all no cost activities that bring me a great deal of pleasure. A weekend treat is a nice bottle of Merlot, curling up in bed with a good movie, a bag of my favorite chips and salsa, and I am beyond delighted. That’s a big expenditure of under $20!
The other thing that I have noticed is that money doesn’t necessarily motivate me. Yes, I want nice things. Yes, I want financial freedom. Yes, I want to retire with no worries. But rubbing my face in the fear of why I need to work does NOT make me jump out of bed on Monday morning. Reminding me of the massive amount of principle I need to have working for me to sustain me for potentially another 25 years after retirement, does NOT inspire me to run to the phone to cold call for prospects.
I used to feel guilty and bad for not being motivated by the money. I felt like there was something wrong with me. Yes, I am thrilled that I pay my bills every month and have something left over to invest. I love the fact that I am learning about the stock market and real estate investing. But I have stopped thinking that because my box of Smarties brings me great joy, or that simple walk in the park on a sunny Wednesday afternoon makes me feel deliciously free, that I will end up a bag lady in downtown Vancouver.
I remember a man that my husband worked with for years at Canada Safeway almost 2 decades ago. He carefully put away his money, rarely took a holiday and was very serious about his retirement. Six months after he retired, he dropped dead! Wow - I still recall thinking, ‘what a waste’. I learned a lesson that day, but it’s one that I am still fighting to implement fully. The indoctrination that ‘idle hands are the work of the Devil’ plays havoc with my resolution to spend time mid-week doing what I love to do.
I have read some amazing books over the last few months. I usually have about four going at any one time. I have pages of notes, have worked on my book and written CD scripts for my ministry. I have meditated on so many ideas and viewpoints and have had my faith tested and my openness challenged every week. Monique constantly reminds me that although it doesn’t feel like “work” to me, I am truly doing some of the best work I could possibly be doing. Yeah, I know that but…and I come up with all the programming that would have me running in circles, busier than ever and making buckets of money.
As I have spoken with many about this over the past few months, I suspect that I am not alone in these feelings. It’s why I wanted to share them with you. By my talking to others, I have learned to relax more. Now when I feel the angst in my stomach, I recognize it for what it is and can deal with it or not. When I feel the guilt for taking a whole day to read, study and write, I remind myself that I have just compressed my coaching schedule into 3 fuller days.
One day at a workshop, the keynote speaker was a woman whose favorite line when asked what she did was, “as little as possible.” Although that was about six years ago, I remember it vividly. I think I was appalled at the answer but at the same time I was envious. Simplicity, simple joys, less stress…are all now highly desirable.
Taking the time to phone a friend because she is on my mind, sending the card to someone not feeling well, or just sitting on the deck watching a sunset are all luxuries that many people don’t take time to appreciate Most days, I feel incredibly wealthy and very blessed. And little by little, I am learning to relax so when someone says, “I know how busy you are,” it feels good to say, “I don’t do busy anymore. How can I help you?”
The longer, lazier days of summer are fast approaching. If you are not clear about what motivates you, what inspires you, sitting on your deck or at the park with a journal may be a great exercise. Or having that glass of wine or cup of tea and chatting with a friend may remind you what is truly important to you. It’s never too late to get clear about the direction you are headed. I’m not too proud to say, “I was headed in the wrong direction; I’ve changed course.” Because at the end of my life, whose going to argue with me anyways.
Have an inspiring month!
With love and light,
Jan
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