I just returned from co-facilitating a Goddess retreat on the big island of Hawaii. Hurricane Flossie was threatening to strike right up until the morning my plane left. There’s nothing like flying out wondering if you will land at the other end. Hawaii turned out to be no rainier than it normally is.
The retreat was amazing although I faced some interesting challenges. I nearly didn’t make the 6:30 a.m. flight because security did not like the fact that I had 10 of my books in my suitcase. I got hauled off to that room where security officials don’t care that you have a flight to catch. I literally ran out of the room with my suitcases in tow at 6:15, got through the rest of security, threw my luggage onto the belt and ran for the plane arriving as they were about to close the door.
On the flight to Honolulu, I read a book gifted to me by one of my coaching clients. Busting Loose from the Money Game by Robert Scheinfeld was awesome and comes highly recommended. If you haven’t read it, it’s worth picking up a copy.
After doing my workshop the first morning on my healing work and releasing limiting beliefs, I participated in the afternoon’s events with the Goddesses. The activities included something called a Dolphin Dance. Ignorance is truly bliss as I never connected the name with water. Duh! I know. I don’t like water. I don’t like to swim. I don’t snorkel and just watching scuba divers put on their gear gives me claustrophobia. All of a sudden I realized as I put on my bathing suit that I was going into the water and my heart began to race.
The instructor immediately realized that I didn’t do well in the water, especially when she handed us all nose plugs to put on. So I got pulled off to the side of the pool to be worked with one-on-one. Talk about ironical as I had just spoken for 90 minutes on releasing limiting beliefs. The other women watched with compassion as I tried to learn how to blow bubbles, exhale and breathe like a dolphin. In the meantime, they all performed these amazing dances that resembled their time in the womb. I took one look at the instructor as she rolled and turned in the water, curled up like a fetus and felt a huge wave of sadness engulf me. Being in the womb wasn’t a pleasant experience for me and the enormity of the sadness took my breath away - what breath I had left with that horrible nose plug on! I ended up allowing myself to relax completely in her arms as she moved me through the water. I never did put my face in the water but celebrated that I stayed in the pool for the entire 90 minutes, had left the nose plug on for minutes at a time and had actually relaxed in the pool. She thought I was a pretty pathetic dolphin - I thought I was magnificent!
The last day of the retreat was a visit to Pelee’s cave. The cave resembles the female organs of Pelee. I won’t use the specific terms as I am sure spam filters would have a heyday if we actually used “those words” but let’s just say that this cave is anatomically correct. However, I hate caves. It’s the same thing as the water - can’t breathe - out of control - no way out. What broke me up completely was the moment I learned that the same instructor for the Dolphin Dance was our guide for Pelee’s cave! ”Oh my goodness”, I howled with the women. ”We need to find me a wig” I laughed, “so she won’t recognize me”.
I went into Pelee’s ovary but being in the dark, in the dampness, several feet under the ground for 2 hours was not my cup of tea. I let the group do their thing and I went and did some healing work on my own. They all had an amazing experience and so did I. An old tooth infection from 10 years ago flared up a few days before the retreat and by that morning I looked like a chipmunk. As they chanted and meditated in the darkness of Pelee’s innermost parts, the cyst in my mouth burst and I experienced an emotional and physical healing.
Why am I telling you this? I got three huge lessons in Hawaii. Lessons that I think are really important to more people than just me. As the co-facilitator I could have avoided both the water and cave activity because I knew I didn’t like them. However, I wanted to see my progress in these areas. I was thrilled with what I did accomplish, rather than discouraged by what I didn’t. I have spent no time healing issues around water and caves - there have been much bigger issues like money, relationships, career, being organized and sexual abuse. So I celebrated what I did and never beat myself up for what I didn’t do. Imagine how much easier you would be on yourself if you did the same.
Secondly, I never once thought that I would lose credibility or influence with the attendees because they literally witnessed my stuff. It was so out there in front for everyone to see and yet I never doubted that I live what I teach. We are all a work in progress and “perfection” is not my claim to fame. If you’re a perfectionist or care alot about what everyone else thinks of you, could you let go of some of your perfectionist issues and just be yourself?
Thirdly, I laughed so hard about all of this; I had a ton of fun! I know that one of my most important values is fun and once the water and the cave episode were no longer fun, I was out of there. I’ve walked on fire and jumped off of 100 foot cliffs. I’ve screamed in sweat lodges and bent steel rebar with my throat. I’ve gone through divorce and near bankruptcy. I know fear. I want to know fun as intimately as I once knew fear. I want to laugh. Could you do with more laughter in your life? I got rave testimonials in from the women who enjoyed my facilitation and healing work. Not one said, “But you have issues with water and claustrophobia. You’re not good enough to be in my life.” And you know what, if they said that to themselves, that’s o.k. I’m still celebrating and laughing and that feels great!Have a fabulous month of loving who you are!
With love and light,Jan
P.S. For those of you who live in the Vancouver area, I am doing a live presentation on Wednesday night, August 29th at 7:00 p.m. at the Evergreen Cultural Centre on a business opportunity that involves travel and creating your Desired Lifestyle. If you want more information, please email me. If you don’t live in Vancouver and want more information, contact me also.
P.P.S. Women’s Wealth Conference in Vancouver is happening on September 8th. For more information, contact Marilyn Steele at info@jointventurewealth.com or by phone at 604-574-4751. Cost is just $29 for an amazing day to help you increase your wealth.
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