As Carol walked out of the condo with a jewellery credenza in tow, she looked at me and said, “I realized Jan as I watched you sell everything, that it’s just stuff.” ”Yes, Carol, you’re absolutely right”, I replied. ”It’s just stuff.”
As I wrap up another amazing year, it is a time of change. Two months ago, I learned that the condo that I have lived in for over two years was being sold and I needed to move. As I waited for the next step to manifest, it became very clear to me that it was time to fulfill a dream of more than 10 years. I am now just a few days away from starting to fulfill that dream of travel and freedom.
As I sit in an empty condo, on a chair that is already sold and has been loaned back to me, as I will sleep tonight in my beautiful 4 poster canopy bed for the last time before it goes to its new owners tomorrow, and as I warm my soup in a pot that was a wedding present more than 26 years ago and will soon go to a friend’s son starting out on his own, I am constantly reminded these days that it’s just stuff.
There is no remorse or regret, no fear or doubt. There is an ever increasing feeling of peace and freedom with every piece of furniture moved out, with every box taken to charity and with every family that I helped get started in their new life here.
A few weeks ago, I had a moving sale and a family from the Middle East arrived to survey the goods. There is something disconcerting having everything in your life, save your underwear, put out on tables for all to inspect and barter over. Really, how much is that garbage can worth? I don’t know. I know I paid a lot for it but I settle for $2 although it is in perfect shape. However, this one particular family brought me a level of peace that was truly outstanding.
Dad took the lead in bartering with me but Mom had the more forceful style. She used guilt. It was fascinating to watch her take my brand new dining room table protector cover that I just paid $27 for at Sears and tell me she would pay $2. When I tried to get $5 from her, she told me that it would be a mattress cover for the young girl staring at me with large brown eyes, her head covered with a tiny scarf, her life being transformed minute by minute by the bartering.
Of course, she got it for $2. What’s $3 in my life compared to that young girl having a more comfortable place to sleep. The family’s pile of material goods grew and the bill mounted. Mom held up a beautiful arrangement of dried flowers I had bought just a few weeks before at Seattle’s Pike Street market as I went shopping with my partner Greg. I had only displayed them for a week before the moving chaos had begun. She looked at me and said with sadness in her eyes, “I love flowers.” I could tell that in their new life in Canada, just a few weeks old, buying flowers was not a priority. How could it be when their 5 children needed a place to sleep?
As the family carted out mountains of items for a whopping bill of $80, the father’s pockets empty, he turned to me at the doorway and put up his hands as a blessing on me and my now much emptier home. He said, “May people be as kind to you in your new home as you have been to us.” I thanked him with tears in my eyes. For this humble little family, so far from home, reminded me so poignantly that I would soon be in their shoes. Travelling, far from home, far away from things that I know and love, people I love and definitely many of the comforts of home - that will soon be my reality.
As we finish another Christmas season that is a lot about stuff, I would like to remind you of that - it’s just stuff. My beautiful couch did not make me happy despite it’s exquisite fabric or style. The bed of my dreams that looked like something out of a decorator’s magazine did not bring me joy. The beautiful desk I sat at daily for over two years did not bring me wealth. Yes, those things all contributed to my peace, joy and abundance. But as I put a few things into a small storage unit, some books, heirloom china from my grandmother, my teapot and teacup collection and my art work from around the world, it all fit into a 5 x 5 storage with some room to spare. Even with all the boxes of paperwork the government insist I keep for my corporation, the storage unit is not full.
What is full is my heart. It’s full with the amazing memories of the clients I worked with sitting on that couch. The stories of their pain and suffering as together, we healed their emotional wounds. What I smile about is remembering laying in my gorgeous bed every night, talking on the phone for hours to the love of my life. The successes and the victories I experienced as I sat at my elegant desk that made me feel like a million bucks will fuel many newsletters, books and workshops ahead of me. Those things aren’t for sale. They can’t be put into a storage unit or examined for barter.
And so I am off for a good time, a fun time, a growing time and most importantly, a healing time. It is starting in Mexico and who knows from there. I am listening to Spirit and will go where I am called, how I am called and when I am called. It will be an exciting journey.
I am grateful to all of you, my dear readers, for your support at the other end of this newsletter. Although I write because it is a burning desire within me that calls forth constantly and consistently, I am always in awe at the emails that I receive back. The notes of gratitude and thankfulness, the stories of how what I wrote has touched your heart and soul and even when you write to tell me that you don’t agree with me. That’s okay too because at least I know you read it! Thank you for being you.
May the upcoming year be filled with what makes your heart overflow with love, joy and peace. We came into this world naked and we will leave it naked, except for the memories of how we lived our life. Unless I’m mistaken, there won’t be any “stuff” where we’re all headed, but there will be love and joy and peace. My prayer for you in 2008 is that you and your loved ones experience more heaven on earth.
Have an amazing month,
With love and light,
Jan
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