The only noise I can hear is the ocean. Sitting on the 11^th floor of the condo I am renting this week in Mazatlan, my earplugs have come in handy for sleeping. The ocean can be incredibly noisy!

My partner Greg and I had a wonderful two weeks together, despite the unseasonably cold weather in Mexico this January. He left on the 15^th and it was a very strange feeling to kiss him good-bye at the airport, knowing that I was staying. This is now home - at least until the end of July.

I decided to stay until then so I could rent a place for six months which gave me some negotiating power and because I have a lot of work I want to get done this year.  I move in on the 26^th of January. The condo I’ve rented is on the 7^th floor of a building right on the ocean, and I have a very spectacular view which is a bonus to having wireless internet, phone already installed, fully furnishings, weekly maid service, wonderful pool, hot tub facilities and tennis courts all included in the price. It even has two resident geckos to eat the bugs!

It all happened pretty easily and it would have been even easier if I had been clearer in my own mind. I was fascinated as I watched my lack of clarity about what I was looking for in a place to live create a lot of unnecessary havoc. Having spent four years living in Ecuador, and a year in a rodent infested cabin, I thought I could do a simple house, Mexican style. I sure found out fairly quickly that I wanted nicer than that.   I also thought I could do what most of the tourists do here who stay long-term, which is to rent basic shelter as they spend their day at the beach. 

I realized that my home, wherever that is, is my spiritual sanctuary, my writer’s retreat and my workplace. I earn my living from my home and it is important. Unfortunately, it took me a few tours of some real “dives” to realize that. Greg described one dark, small apartment as a great place to hang out if the Mafia was after me. The unlit stairwell, one prison-style window facing a brick wall, the bare bulb in the bathroom and fridge that sounded more like a growling pit bull was more than I wanted to see as we got out of there with a very quick, “No gracias”. 

Just like everywhere else, it is incredible what a few more dollars will buy you. That Mafia escape hole was renting for $600 US per month. Not cheap by most standards. I learned pretty quickly that a few hundreds dollars more bought me a much nicer place.   

So how did it all happen? One night while on a search for tamales, we walked out of a restaurant as there were no tamales on the menu. The manager followed us out of the restaurant and after learning about what we were looking for, asked one last question: ”Jan and Greg, is there anything else that I can help you with?” As we were now into our second week and I was beginning to envision myself joining the homeless camped out around the bonfire a few blocks away when Greg left, I immediately replied, “I am looking for a place to rent for up to six months.” 

Lacho, the manager, asked me a few questions and told us to return the next day as he would have a place for me. Could it really be that easy? Sure enough, the next day, he told us about Darrow from North Dakota who had the condo that I ended up renting. Darrow met us at the restaurant, picked us up, gave us the grand tour and made a deal with me. The only problem was that he wasn’t leaving the condo until the 26^th of January and I was homeless on the 15^th. Back to Lacho with another request. ”Lacho, can you help me find a place to stay between the 15^th and the 26^th?” ”Come back tomorrow - I will have a place for you,” was his confident reply.  Sure enough, Juan Carlos, the owner of the restaurant where he worked had a couple of brand new condos for rent a nd within 24 hours, I had a deal on a beautiful condo on the 11^th floor where I now sit for half the daily rate. 

I have already discovered very quickly that the people in Mazatlan are exceptionally nice. Lacho was one of the first people involved in the Senor Frogs phenomena. I’m not a bar hopper by any means and yet I know about the huge success of Senor Frogs. It apparently all started in Mazatlan and Lacho was one of the team of Mexicans sent to Calgary, Alberta to help build the franchise in Canada many years ago. He has lived in the US for years, speaks delightful English, is obviously successful and yet is absolutely, totally at your service. People have offered to take me shopping to Walmart and Sam’s Club, take me fishing, drive me places and have helped in every way they could. It is a very nice place to start the adventure.

What have I learned this month? Get clear. Get really clear. That’s not so easy, is it? I bet you have an area in your life that could do with some clarity. I learned this lesson again this month because I was also offered another condo. The condo was on one of the marinas, only $650 plus all utilities and I must admit I was very tempted. However, after saying yes to it, I felt sick to my stomach. Poor Greg went through quite an afternoon with me as I hummed and hawed over my decision. You know the feeling. You’ve made a decision and you aren’t happy with it but you don’t know how to get out of it. We’ve all done it and oh how I hate it! After making a very difficult decision of changing my mind and having to make that dreaded phone call, what a relief. 

I finally got clear that I wanted to be on the ocean - I wanted to be able to walk on the beach every day.  For me, part of my healing therapy is the ocean.  I wanted a balcony that I could work from.  I wanted to have the internet already installed as I well know that the word in Spanish for tomorrow doesn’t necessarily mean tomorrow - only sometime in the future. I wanted quiet and security so I would feel completely safe being alone. I wanted easy access to shopping and services. It only took me a few anguished hours to get clear on what was important once I made getting clear a priority. Interestingly up until that point, I felt much more in a place of survival - being homeless in a foreign city is something I need to get used to but I’m definitely not there yet.

As I walk the beach for at least an hour every day, I know that I have made the right decision. There is something very meditative and soothing about walking along the waves, feeling your feet being massaged by the wet sand and listening to the roar of the ocean.

So I’m going to encourage you to get clear about something in your life this month that you have been avoiding. What do you want?   Ask yourself: What do I really, really, really want in this one area of my life?  It could be career, home, relationship, financial situation or family. I have found consistently in my life, and I just proved it again here in Mazatlan, that when I get crystal clear, life is much easier. And I’m all for easy. 

So get clearer than you ever have about one thing this month and then watch how easily it manifests. Spend the time necessary to reach that clarity. That may mean some time writing, in meditation, talking with a trusted friend or coach, but please do spend the time. Go through the anguish, the head-splitting indecision where you feel like two people are living inside of you and you don’t like either one! Weigh the pros and cons, sift through the fears, the doubt, the guilt and the “I’m not good enough to have what I want” stuff. Sort through all of those emotions that are blocking your clarity like heavy, dark rain clouds can block the sun.   The sun is always on the other side of those clouds - it just may not be obvious to you today. Go ahead - risk sounding absurd as you argue vehemently for all possibilities. 

I know I could argue why every possibility I had in front of me sounded reasonable, including getting on a plane and going to Costa Rica for a month until the cold weather in Mazatlan passed! What needs to finally happen is a deeper inner peace in the core of your being, your soul and your heart. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel some apprehension over the decision but label that as excitement rather than fear and go for it. All of this may exhaust you in the moment, the day or even the week, but it’s worth it. 

In the next few weeks I’m off to the local garbage dump for what should be an eye-opening adventure. I’ll let you know about it next month. 

With light and love,

Jan

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