The hill up to my friend Monique’s home, where I am currently staying, is long and steep. The first couple of weeks here, I never made it more than a quarter of the way up the hill before my heart was racing and I was out of breath. Then one day I decided to stop and take a 30 second break before heading up the hill. The difference in how far I could walk was amazing. The last two days I have made it all the way to the top without stopping!
It’s kind of like life. Sometimes we need to stop, catch our breath before we continue. However, we often do that with great resistance.
I have had a couple of clients this month tell me how tired they are. They’ve mentioned they have no “get-up-and-go”. There’s simply no energy to do any work and they are pushing themselves to do what it takes to get through the day. They’re looking for a magic bullet to get them fired up again.
Perhaps you know that feeling and wonder how you get the “get-up-and-go” to come back and stay!
Monique attended a workshop last year where she learned about a cycle of life that resonated with me when she first explained it. I think you will find this useful also.
There are four stages to the cycle. The first is work. You know the feeling where you are busy, busy, busy on a project or projects and you feel energized and ambitious. Nothing is too much work. You are motivated and inspired. But then something happens and all of sudden you feel confused, as if everything you are doing seems out of place or meaningless.
You are in the next stage of confusion or chaos. Perhaps you know that feeling only too well where your world feels upside down. It can even be frightening at times as if you have lost your vision, drive and clarity. What is recommended in this stage is to do some clearing and cleaning. It can help you move through the chaos faster. Even just knowing that this is a normal part of the life cycle helps me to relax when I hit this phase.
After the chaos comes the contemplation stage where the ideas start to gel and form again. Sanity returns and there is some peace.
The next stage is perhaps the most challenging for many of us Type A Personality types. It is the rest phase. It’s when you want to put your feet up, take life easy; you feel unmotivated, uninspired, worn out or even exhausted. Unfortunately, it is in this stage that most people push themselves, beat themselves up for not being more ambitious and feel terribly guilty about not wanting to do more.
However, this stage is so critical because the next phase is the work phase. Just like my climb up the hill - without that little rest, I am winded half-way up the hill. Take the rest and my results double!
I saw this happen in my life this year. Now being aware of the cycle, when my body was screaming for a sabbatical, I took it. I planned on a year - it lasted about 7 weeks! However, it was long enough to take me into a good stretch of work phase when I got another book written, along with many other projects.
None of these phases need to last for days, weeks, months or years. You may go through the entire cycle in a very short period of time. But you will go through them. Being aware of where you are in the cycle allows you to be more understanding and gentle with yourself. Instead of freaking out because you are feeling lost and confused and life seems topsy-turvy, you now can recognize it as the chaos phase. Rather than beat yourself up for wanting to rest, you can let go of the guilt and take the time for recuperation and rejuvenation, realizing that it will be followed by the work phase.
And when you feel driven to work and that takes a priority over everything else, you will understand why there is a strong urge to get things done.
Anytime I can understand myself, my cycles, my emotions and my programs better, I see it as a bonus. Learning about these cycles really increased my awareness this year of myself and contributed to greater productivity. It also makes my life easier because I understand that other people in my life may not be in the same phase as I am. There are days when Monique says to me, “Jan, just listening to you exhausts me.” We are rarely in the work phase at the same time. Other times, I will hear the confusion in my partner’s conversation and appreciate that he is simply in the chaos phase.
The greatest lesson for me is that there is a cycle of life and I cannot avoid it. Just as in nature, there is a time of rejuvenation and repair, a time of growth, and a time of quiet, our lives reflect that too. We just don’t always have the sense to honor and respect where we are at. Instead we push ourselves, feel guilty about taking time off and panic when life isn’t where we think it should be.
By now understanding these cycles, it has brought another level of peace to my life. I hope that it does for you also.
Enjoy the day. Treasure the cycle. And relax. It’s all perfect…it really is.
To Your Outrageous Success,
Jan
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