Sometimes we don´t get what we want or ask for.  It´s why I love my saying:  “It may not be what I prefer, but I trust it´s perfect”.  I have just experienced once again the trueness of this statement.

Greg and his 97 year old mother were supposed to arrive with me on November 2nd, 2009.  They didn´t get here until March 9^th. I complained several times to Greg that he wasn´t with me as he had intended.  I whined a few times to my friends and neighbors here, especially when I was alone on a Saturday night in one of the most fun cities in Mexico.

However, reality is another story. I haven´t lived with anyone for seven years. I certainly haven´t lived with a 97 year old before. I´ve been on my own for much of the last nine years and absolutely loved it. Even when I was married, I used to say to my husband that if anything happened to him, I wouldn´t remarry again. I love having my own home, setting my own schedule,  and having the undivided focus to get a lot of work done. I even love sleeping in my own bed…alone…without anyone snoring (I don´t hear myself snoring at night thank goodness) or a restless partner.

So it´s been an interesting time since Greg and Jeanette landed in what I now realize I thought of as “my space”. I´ve learned how regimented and inflexible I can be. I´ve seen how picky I can be about inconsequential matters and I´ve had reinforced the Sacred Gifts I have and those I don´t. 

One of the gifts that I haven´t given a whole lot of thought to is the sacred gift of singleness. It can appear to be a paradox being in an intimate relationship and having this gift. Yet Oprah is probably one of the best examples of the sacred gift of singleness. When she was in South Africa opening up her girl´s school, she said, “I now understand why I have never been married or had children of my own.” 

This gift is always given in conjunction with other gifts that lend themselves to the freedom of singleness. For example, Oprah has a massive Sacred Gift of Giving. Her lack of marital and family responsibilities allows her to do amazing work around the world. She is still in an intimate relationship while having this gift. So having the gift of singleness doesn´t mean no intimacy. It simply means that the responsibilities of marriage and family  are undesirable.  Feeling energized being single is one of the characteristics of this gift.

I´ve never paid much attention to this gift as I have other gifts, such as the gift of writing and healing which I use daily and are called from me regularly.  However, living with Jeanette and Greg has brought this gift of singleness to the fore.  I know that many people actually feel guilty or think that something is wrong with them because they don´t want to live with someone, get married or have children.  Many cultures still frown on single woman and in the past, women with this gift would have been expected to join a monastery or a man would have become a priest.  

It´s why I love what I have learned about Sacred Gifts.  I could be beating myself up a thousand times a day as I watch myself react to various situations.  I could think I was a real “witch” because I don´t particularly enjoy living with an older person.  I never felt called to take care of my mother in her last years and am grateful that my two sisters are watching over my dad who is 86 years old. I could feel like I don´t love Greg enough because I don´t want to marry him or even live with him on a regular basis. Thank God I don´t feel any of that unworthiness.  

I know that I am more available to be used in a large way which may not be the case so easily when someone has huge family responsibilities.  It´s a blessing that I truly value and appreciate. I would love to be able to make major contributions to this world as Oprah does.  I am open to be used for projects that require traveling or the freedom to be away from home for long periods of time.  I ask God to use my gifts every single day in the greatest capacity for the healing of this planet. 

Today I am glad that Greg and Jeanette didn´t arrive until they did.  I wasn´t feeling 100% well until recently and my nerves were definitely frazzled after last year´s business venture. I needed the quiet, peace and tranquility I got to enjoy being here alone for several months.  Looking back - how perfect. 

Right now, I have had to put some larger projects on the back burner as my time is more divided.  Greg´s love language is “quality time” and I really notice that when I get buried in my work and don´t make enough time for him, our relationship suffers. So “Greg and Jan time” is a priority in my day, along with making  soup more often as Jeanette loves it and there´s just a lot more laundry and tidying up to do every week.  Thank God for having a maid come in every Tuesday to do all of the heavy cleaning, including changing the beds.

Looking back at how disappointed I was when I was alone at Christmas, Valentine´s Day and our anniversary of getting together two years ago, I now see that my statement that it may not be what I prefer but it is perfect rings true once again.  We have a fabulous six weeks left and I plan on getting every bit of fun from our time together.  

I am ignoring the candy wrappers Jeanette leaves everywhere, (she lives on my soup and sugar).  I can shut my eyes to the over-crowded fridge that frustrates me and I won´t cringe when clothes aren´t hung up immediately.  What´s the point? These are not important in the big scheme of things…even though I may believe at times they are. What a fabulous opportunity to work on my perfectionist personality and be further pruned and groomed by the Universe. Getting to work on myself in the sun, a Margarita in hand having fun with the man I love, is hardly punishment!

I´m back in Vancouver for the first two weeks of June as Monique and I are doing another special two day Sacred Gifts workshop and then I have rented a fabulous condo in Sedona until the end of September. And yes, I will be alone. 

Have an amazing month.

To Your Outrageous Success!