How do you know when to forge ahead with a decision and when to retreat? Daily we are faced with situations in our lives that demand an answer to that question.

For example: Do we move ahead in the relationship and trust that it´s all perfect or do we end it? Do we believe that the client situation will work out or do we call it quits? Do we declare bankruptcy or do we hope and pray something comes along? Those are decisions that many of us have faced in our lives and they aren´t always easy decisions to make.

While my dear friend Brenda was here with me in Sedona for a week this past month, we had three situations come up that demanded a decision. This was more than just deciding whether or not we were eating Mexican or Indian, going shopping or heading to the pool typical holiday decisions. These decisions were in our face, you need to decide now, important at the time, decisions.

While doing what was called a “strenuous hike” but resembled more of a rock climb up Cathedral Rock, I got stuck about half-way up the mountain. I was tired from hiking every day that week in 100 degree weather and was feeling emotionally fatigued.

As I looked up at the challenging footholds I would need for the next level and looked down at my legs that were several inches shorter than Brenda´s, the tears started to flow. I retreated and Brenda continued the hike with two other women we had met on the trail. An hour later, she came back to where I had planted myself on a secure ledge and said, “Jan, you have to do this. You´re through the worst and the scenery from the top is amazing. You can do this.” I looked at her and had to make the decision. Did I forge ahead and listen to her encouragement or did I say, “no, I´ve had enough.” I checked in and knew that I had needed to rest, to clear some emotions that had come up for me and I would regret not doing this with her.

I climbed to the top and as we celebrated at the top of the mountain, it was an amazing feeling!

The next morning, on another hike, we hit smoke. There was obviously a forest fire somewhere in the area and the air was acrid. The problem was that we had driven 30 minutes to get to this hike, there was a swimming hole at the end of the hike and we both really wanted to do it. We walked for about 30 minutes and came to the conclusion that we needed to turn back. But we decided to have a swim in the creek beside the trail and while we were swimming, the wind shifted and the air miraculously cleared. We completed the hike. When we got to the swimming hole, we were delighted that we had taken a pause and allowed the miracle to occur because it turned out to be a fabulous hike.

Tuesday morning was Brenda´s last morning and we planned a hike to Secret Canyon. As we turned down the dirt road, we very quickly realized that the road was far more suited to a 4-wheel drive. We bounced along, Brenda carefully maneuvering through the potholes. Buoyed up by our previous two successful wins on our hikes, we firmly believed that we would make it.

However, when we hit bottom on the rental car and hit branches on one side of it, we realized we had bit off more than the little Hyundai Accent could handle. The problem was that now we were more than 30 minutes into the drive and although the hike was only 4 miles off the main road, it may as well have been 50! We were close and we knew it, but we opted to turn back. The trip back was equally harrowing with me walking in front of the car, trying to guide Brenda, moving rocks and literally cringing every inch of the road as she narrowly missed scraping over rocks.

Three days in a row in three totally different situations, Brenda and I faced the decision of whether or not to forge ahead or retreat. Interestingly, we made the right decision in two cases, and not in the third. And isn´t that true of life? We will make right decisions and we will sometimes err.

But as we talked about it, we realized that there isn´t a set formula to always know. However, we did come up with a few ideas that I wanted to share with you.

1. Check into that gut feeling and see what you come up with.
2. Decide if it is really worth it to you to take the risk of getting what you really want or losing what you really want.
3. Talk it through with someone as just talking about it can help you get clarity.
4. Sometimes you need to pause and let the Universe step in instead of pushing through and doing it all yourself.

For example, I knew that going up Cathedral Rock with Brenda may be my only chance to do so. It´s not a hike I can get to without a car so this was my opportunity – perhaps my only one. Was I willing to let that chance slip by? I decided that the answer was no. It was important enough to me personally to push through the fatigue and fear to reach the top.

On the other hand, putting in jeopardy the well-being of a rental car wasn´t worth the risk and so we retreated – just a little later than would have been prudent.

Honestly, there are no right or wrong decisions. There is simply the journey with all of it´s joys and experiences. And we certainly had our share of those together!

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